Now, the term “criminally small” gets thrown around a lot on this blog. But I ask you… are you ready to behold true tininess?
This baby Mozambique rain frog [Breviceps mossambicus] was found and photographed near the Vis-Agier resort in Sodwana Bay, South Africa. These frogs require no water source to reproduce, instead laying eggs underground which then hatch by direct development into tiny frogs like the one you see above. These frogs inhabit a wide range of central and southern Africa, and are most commonly found after brief periods of rain. Images by Vis-Agie Resort on Facebook.
So, I am furious and sad and furious again about the Tree of Life shooting and basically everything around it. But it has been some relief to see so many people, both Jewish and gentile, posting about fundraisers and looking for ways to help in the aftermath.
Unfortunately, the notes of those posts are often full of anti-Semitism, whether from the overt hatefulness of alt-right neo-Nazi shitheads, or the concern-trolling of self-proclaimed leftists who think this is a great time to start up the I/P debate.
(Hint: It is not.)
(I just saw, with my own actual eyeballs, a post in which someone asked whether the shul and the victims were Zionists or not, because they didn’t want to support or mourn for them if they were.)
After a while, it’s hard to see the point of trying to refute the shitty arguments of shitty people, and you can only say “fuck you” so many times before it starts to lose all meaning.
Fortunately, there is something to fall back on. Gentile allies, may I introduce you to the wonderful world of
Yiddish curses
Some of my favorites:
May you turn into a blintz and be snatched by a cat.
May you either have to use the toilet every three minutes or every three months.
May I have the pleasure of sewing your funeral shroud.
May all your teeth fall out but one and may that one give you a toothache.
May you have thunder in your belly and lightning in your pants.
May he have a hundred houses, each house with a hundred rooms, each room with twenty beds, and may a delirious fever toss him from bed to bed.
May you eat chopped liver with onions, shmaltz herring, chicken soup with dumplings, baked carp with horseradish, braised meat with vegetable stew, latkes, tea with lemon, every day – and may you choke on every bite!
Yiddish curses: For when “fuck you, you fucking fuck” lacks sufficient flair.
“Go shit in the ocean” is always a reliable classic.
“May you have a sweet death: run over by a sugar truck” (alternately “hung from a sugar rope”) is my favorite
“May you live to 120…with a wooden head and glass eyes.”
“May your bones be broken as often as the ten commandments.”
and my favorite because of the Jewish Tummy™
“May you run to the toilet every three minutes or every three months.”
“[There] are people who will follow any dragon, worship any god, ignore any iniquity. All out of a kind of humdrum, everyday badness. Not the really high, creative loathesomeness of the great sinners, but a sort of mass-produced darkness of the soul. Sin, you might say, without a trace of originality. They accept evil not because they say yes, but because they don’t say no.”
i can safely and confidently assure you that the jewish community doesn’t want your money or your sympathy, and also you’re a fucking sociopath
mindblowing that goyim don’t understand that refusing to unequivocally value jewish lives actually feeds zionism. your antizionism isn’t worth shit if you’re not working to make the diaspora a safe place for jews to live and thrive.
100% agree, though i would even go so far as to say that like honestly. it. doesn’t matter. it’s absolutely true and goyim should be aware of how antisemitism perpetuates zionism, but also it’s so fucking sad that we need to use that as a selling point for them not to be antisemitic, instead of them just….giving a fuck about jews regardless
😞😞😞
AYFKM
“I don’t feel comfortable donating money or mourning for people who advocate genocide.“
Amazing how you feel totally comfortable supporting Nazism and white supremacy, though.
The targets of white supremacists deserve to be protected. Full stop.
The victims of white supremacist violence deserve to be mourned. Full stop.
I have seen this shit happen to multiple groups (Black people, Muslims, Jews, etc.) after multiple tragedies, so let me be clear:
We do not ask if Muslim refugees are suitably feminist before advocating on their behalf. We advocate on their behalf because they are suffering and it’s the right thing to do.
We do not ask what the congregation’s policy was on gay marriage after a racist shoots up a Black church and murders African-Americans joining in prayer. We mourn for the victims and speak out because it is the right thing to do.
And we do not fucking ask if Jews murdered by a neo-Nazi in the sanctuary of their synagogue were Zionists or not before mourning them and offering the survivors our support because it is the right thing to do.
If you withhold your support for victims of white supremacist violence until they have passed some sort of so-called progressive litmus test, then you are on the side of the white supremacists. I don’t fucking care how leftist you think you are, if you pull this shit, you’re an enabler of hate.
You are either with the victims or the Nazis. Pick a side and SHUT THE FUCK UP.
We had to write a Mini Comic for my Illustration Class so I did mine based on The Frog and The Scorpion. Hopefully you all know the story!
But if you don’t know the story… In the original the scorpion stings the frog in the middle of the river. When the frog asks “why” the scorpion says “it’s in my nature” and they both die. I like my ending more.
Done with watercolor and pen and ink nib.
I always thought this story was fucked up, even when I heard it as a very young child. I even got put in the naughty corner, and a star next to my name crossed off for questioning it.
This story is so much better, and I like it’s message much more.
i think the moment i was disillusioned about life was when i was maybe 7 years old and realized the reason all my friends had become assholes was because boys aren’t allowed to have any physcial contact that isn’t fighting
my parents were hippie feminists so my brother and i could play clapping games and sleep in puppy piles and give each other weird hairdos, but all the ‘normal’ boys just up and stopped knowing how to touch anyone without hitting sometime between kindergarten and first grade
and my little kid mind briefly saw the vastness of life stretching out in front of all of us, and all the hugs everyone would need and not get, and for a moment i was just like
maybe life is not such a good idea after all
I grew up around a Russian ballet school. Let me tell you something about Russian men: They touch each other. Especially dancers, who are in my experience almost always super tactile people. They rough house like Americans, but they also hug each other, and sit on each other’s laps, and share blankets when it’s cold backstage.
So I grew up knowing full well that the whole Men Don’t Touch thing was puritanical bullshit.
What I was absolutely not prepared for, however, is the super intense effect it has on straight men’s romantic relationships.
Because when you are literally the only person it is okay for your boyfriend to touch, Jesus fucking Christ, that changes the game.
I strongly suspect that a lot of Str8 Dude feelings of entitlement to women’s bodies, particularly the bodies of their wives and girlfriends, is a direct result of those women being the only non-violent physical contact they’re allowed to have.
I know for certain that the framing of any and all platonic physical contact as un-manly has been directly responsible for a lot of sexual dysfunction (and then the attendant misery of trying to get that treated at the ripe old age of 22) with at least one of my exes. It’s a mess when you can’t get it up because you’re depressed and want to be held but you’ve been brainwashed into thinking what you actually want is sex because being held is for girls.
Amazing how the erectile dysfunction went completely away when he learned the difference between feeling horny and feeling cuddly. /sarcasm
“I strongly suspect that a lot of Str8 Dude feelings of entitlement to women’s bodies, particularly the bodies of their wives and girlfriends, is a direct result of those women being the only non-violent physical contact they’re allowed to have.”
Omfg
No wonder the worst of them seem crazy… profound isolation does exactly that
When I taught in Japan, the boys were all super comfortable with each other. They’d sit on laps and hug and roughhouse and it wasn’t seen as bad ? Like it surprised me at first, but then you realize the problem is with so many men feeling that they have to prove… something? I dunno. I personally don’t like hugs or touches, but that is my own personal reasons and nothing of how I was brought up.
Because when you are literally the only person it is okay for your boyfriend to touch, Jesus fucking Christ, that changes the game.
Things I never thought of…I couldn’t imagine if my husband were the only person I was allowed to touch. As I think on it, that extends to the kids, too. The dudes aren’t allowed to really even cuddle their own damned children or nieces and nephews.
Wow.
Also explains why western media romanticizes co-dependency in romantic relationships to such an insane degree.
Our Half-Orc Barbarian Emlee (me) has inadvertently become the godhead of some Kuo-toa, magical fish people who’s faith is slowly giving Emlee fish-like traits (scales on her face, yellow bulgy eyes, etc.). She is very upset about this.
Upon searching an old underground fort, they find something in a closet.
DM: It looks like a big bag of salt.
Barbarian: I’ll just touch a little and taste it to see.
DM: You put your finger in and it BURNS.
Barbarian: WOW NOT SALT YOU GUYS.
Monk: I’m going to load a pouch of whatever it is.
Wizard: Can I investigate it? *rolls successfully*
DM: You’re pretty sure it’s salt.
*Others all touch it and are fine and realize it really is salt.*
Cleric: OH MY GOD IS IT BECAUSE YOURE A FRESH WATER FISH?
Barbarian: I’m a half orc, it could be that! You don’t know! This salt is racist.
Dove's Tumblr Archive 