a zodiac

littlepinkbeast:

Aries: Legendary physical might is scant defense against treason.

Taurus: One of the most powerful mages in history and all anyone remembers you for is your physical disability.

Gemini: Hanging didn’t kill you, but the sword in your head sure did.

Cancer: Your wife breaks out of prison and leaves you there so that she can take all your stuff.

Leo: Don’t leave your apprentice trapped in cat form, that’s just rude. Even if it is a magic super-powerful cat.

Virgo: Marrying someone who doesn’t even know your name? No wonder he’d rather sleep with your sister.

Libra: You peers were busy killing each other, but they couldn’t kill you. You were already dead to a different enemy.

Scorpio: Hundreds of stolen souls at your command and you still live in the shadow of your older sister who married your boss.

Sagittarius: Being a genius at making things is no comfort when you’re afflicted with that much pain.

Capricorn: No one knows your name. No one knows your face. No one knows anything about you, except that you’re dead.

Aquarius: Does the moon taste good? Does betrayal? Does failure?

Pisces: You’re tiny. A storm isn’t. How is it that you are a storm?

smallest-feeblest-boggart:

kingoftheunderground:

kingoftheunderground:

cakesoup:

kingoftheunderground:

kingoftheunderground:

kingoftheunderground:

kingoftheunderground:

I work at a coffee shop and have gotten all my co-workers to start calling lattes “hot milkybois”

I also got everyone to refer to the salted caramel blended drink as “the big salty” and I consider it one of my greatest accomplishments

Oh yeah and any time someone orders a hazelnut latte with almond milk (which specifically is a weirdly popular drink) I say “one HOT NUT latte coming right up!”

My coworkers have not latched on to this one like they did with the others for some reason.

I forgot to mention I also pronounce “hot chocolate” like “hot cocklate”… because I’m awful.

please give us updates

Our largest drink size is affectionately referred to as “Texas Size” so sometimes when I hand it out in the drive-thru I like to say, “Here’s that TEXAS SIZE [drink] for ya, YEEEEHAW!”

And some people look at me as though I have just made their entire day while others look like they they could not possibly get away from me soon enough. Both reactions are equally satisfying. 

I made this into a game except when I hand out the Texas-size drinks I say “Can I get a YEEHAW?” And the guests always look mortified but occasionally one of them will let out a terrified “yeehaw” and all my coworkers cheer and then we keep a running tally of how many yeehaws we each get on the back of a pastry bag.

op will not die of natural causes

drferox:

Here’s my pibble Beaureguard (Beau for short), enjoying the view on our way to run some errands! (I was stopped at a stoplight, don’t worry)
Her hobbies include following squirrels from the sliding door to the kitchen window and back, jumping on complete strangers (all four paws off the ground!) and having no object permanence.

What a sweetie. (But still put your phone down when yoú’re behind the wheel)

Scientist in remote Antarctic outpost stabs colleague who told him endings of books he was reading

the-real-seebs:

i. uhm.

anyway.

From what I can find (the link you included leads to a dead end, btw), the two guys had (as the intro blurb says) spent the past four years together at the outpost and the guy who got stabbed had been spoiling the endings of the books for the whole time.

Asides from one reddit post, most of what I found is going with “it could have been a result of the isolation, We Just Don’t Know” and the stabber is cooperating with authorities.

Scientist in remote Antarctic outpost stabs colleague who told him endings of books he was reading

theworldiswhispering:

Forget ‘’the floor is lava”, it’s time for “the floor is sentient and know’s what you’ve done”

Alternately, the floor is built so that it’ll creak and make weird noises if you step in the wrong spot. Everyone who’s a regular knows where the wrong spots are, because they’ve dealt with it for years.